McElroy Musings: Buzzard

We have a bird. A sweet (cough, cough) handsome cockatiel named Topknot. Don't try to call him that, though, because he probably won't recognize the name. He is more commonly referred to as Buzzard (90% of the time), Ro-Buzzard (a reference to this villain) or Falcon (what Michael wishes he was). Buzzard was originally Michael's father's bird, but their dog had the unsettling habit (for Buzzard) of sleeping under his cage and Padre could tell that poor Buzzard was not thriving. Michael swooped in to save The Bird (my nickname for him), driving down to Florida to pick him up and bring him back to Harvard. Buzzard has been waking Michael (and now me) with his 7 am car alarm squawks ever since.

We have lots of Buzzard stories. We have to trim his wings so he doesn't hurt himself inside. We don't clip them so short that he can't fly at all, just trim them back a bit to reduce the chance of him flying headlong into a wall, window, ceiling fan or other obstacle (because he will. Oh yes, he will!). Anyway, even after all these years of having his wings trimmed, he has never learned that he won't be able to fly as far after having his wings trimmed as he could before. So as soon as we're done clipping the wings, he wants to escape and heads for the cage . . . only to slowly descend to the floor, squawking all the way. And we're terrible owners that laugh at him all the way down!

Buzzard is not the sharpest tool in the shed. It ain't called "bird-brain" for nothing! I really enjoy baths, especially in the huge garden tub we have now. Michael often brings Buzzard by so we can flick some water on him. It's important to regularly mist tropical birds - otherwise their skin dries out and the feather dust is unbelievable! Buzzard is a bit of a hydro-phobe, though, so its difficult to get him to shower. Anyway, during a recent bath, Michael had brought Buzzard by and set him down on (the very wide) ledge and left to grab a few things. Despite the ~1" lip separating the ledge from the tub, Buzzard managed to fall into the tub - and flapped and squawked his displeasure (are you seeing a trend?). I immediately rescued him and felt terrible for him but . . . we also laughed. He looks so ridiculous with his feathers all wet!

One more funny story. We keep his cage open, so he is free to travel about the house as he pleases. While we have occasionally returned home and found evidence (hint: he is not potty-trained) of his wanderings, he generally prefers to stick to his cage, especially in this new environment. He'll climb all over the inside and outside of his cage, but won't leave it. Anyway, last night we had several windows open to enjoy the cooler weather. In the middle of the night, a bedroom door slammed shut due to the breeze. It certainly woke me up! It must have woken Buzzard up too. In the morning I came down to the kitchen (where we keep Buzzard) and started Michael's tea. I then went out to the living room/office to fire up my computer and heard some rustling. Buzzard must have been frightened by the slamming door and flown off his perch. He ended up in our step-down landing (some 50+ feet away, around a corner from his cage) and couldn't figure out how to get back in the dark. He had left us a pile of "evidence" and sure enough, flapped and squawked when I picked him up and returned him to his cage. Oh, Buzzard, you silly little bird!

Hera are a few pics of the beast: